Not only is life a sport, it’s a team sport. You have to focus on your own personal performance for sure, but you also have to recognize that you’re not in it alone.
Lots of people seem desperate to prove that they’re on their own and that they don’t need anyone but that’s not how we’re built. We process the world through language, the very tool that we use to connect to others.
We are creatures that can’t survive for the first number of years without direct nurturing and support. We need others and it’s easier to admit it than to fight it.
Once we admit that we need people and then looked at how shaped we are by them, it follows that we should be picky about who we surround ourselves with.
Negative, emotionally upset / upsetting, and destructive people are obvious candidates for demotions.
While this might sound cruel, it is necessary that you and your team are strong. There’s not a lot you can do from a place of weakness. Also, I’m not saying to eject people from your life, just to limit your exposure as much as possible to preserve your health and happiness.
Many, many, many of us think that we’re doing people good by sticking around and trying to “fix” them but really, it just tends to make things worse. It is entirely possible that the people who seem negative, emotionally upset / upsetting and destructive are fantastic in another setting. If they’re hurting you, chances are they’re in the wrong place. Setting yourself free also sets them free.
Eben Pagan makes a fantastic suggestion for the people who you can not let go of, but who might not be the healthiest to have around... interact with them where and when they’re at their best.
As far as your team goes... What kind of team would you like to have? Think about it, if this metaphor carries through and Life is a team Athletics event then who do you want on your side? Who are the top 5 people that will make up your inner circle?
Remember that you get to choose these people... if you love your parents but they’re not the right people to have on your team... don’t have them on your team. Love them, hang out and make sure that you enjoy the relationships you have with them to the max! ... and then surround yourself with people who make you strong and the best version of you.
One other concept I love that fits is the idea that when two people get together to solve a problem, it’s not two brains that are working together, it’s three. The theory states that a “third brain” is formed in the space... that combining people amplifies as opposed to simply adding.
Your team is your inner circle, your mastermind group and ... when it comes down to it... they are you.
- Identify the characteristics that you want in your team.
- Make sure that you fit.
- Identify 5 people to officially add to the roster.
- let them know.
- make sure that your schedule is set so that you are spending most of your time and attention interacting with these people.