Relationships Phase 1 Day 2: What kind of relationships do you have?

As with anything we do at Life Athletics, all movement starts with looking at where we are currently. Knowing our starting point impacts our next step and the more we can just accept that what is, is... the more powerfully we can transform. 

As far as relationships go, we’re going to start simply... I’m asking these questions: 

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-“What kind of relationships do you have now?” 

and

-”What kind of relationships do you wish you had that you don’t have currently”

What I mean is not related to the quality (ie. good or bad) but rather the type (Friends, close friends, Family, romantic, Siblings... etc.).

How you group your interpersonal relationships in your mind is unique to you and says a lot about how you sort people. 

We may have rules for one group (ie. family or friends) that we don’t have for another (ie. local shopkeeper or a co-worker on another floor) and there are some groups we may be avoiding. 

Do you have lots of acquaintances but no close friends? Do you avoid intimacy? Do you  avoid any interactions that aren’t intimate?

Do you only spend time with people who are better than you at the things you want to do? Do you avoid those people? 

Do you avoid all people? 

Do you have a mastermind group? 

Do you have a team? 

Who are you as a social being? 

Marking down the groups that exist as you see them allows you to get a glimpse into how you manage yourself socially.  Again, we’ll be looking at which are working and which aren’t later. 

For now look at what exists and what doesn’t relationship wise for you. Where are you now? 

Challenge:

Answer these questions: 

-“What kind of relationships do you have now?” 

and

-”What kind of relationships do you wish you had that you don’t have currently”

Relationships Phase 1 Day 1: Being with other human beings.

This month we’ll be looking at relationships. 

Yes... February, the month with the holiday that makes lots of people stressed out about their romantic relationships... or their lack of one. 

We’re not just looking at romantic relationships however. That’s just one part of this Training Area. 

For the purpose of this month let’s define what we mean when talking about “Relationships” in Life Athletics. 

We’re calling any interaction you have with another person a relationship. 

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You obviously have some that are more important to you than others. You have some that can be grouped together or fit into categories and we will look at as many as you want. 

How you are with other people and the response you get is what we’re looking at this month. 

Where are you now in your relationships with others? 

Where do you want to be? 

How can you get there? What do you need to do? 

We are social creatures. Language is the tool we developed to relate to each other and it’s how we interpret the world. 

How we relate to others says a lot about us and as Life Athletes this is kind of a big deal. 

This month we will be looking at how to make our relationships better, faster, stronger. 

Challenge: 
-Commit to looking at how you interact with others and creating the relationships you want in your life. 

Phase 3 Day 7: That's all folks! Help us help you!

And here we are Life Athletes, reaching the end of Phase 3 and of the programming for the month. 

If you’ve gone through all of the steps you have everything you need to launch yourself at the life you want. 

Remember to keep track of the tools, resources and daily clicks as you go. Also, routinely note any blocks that come up as if they were hitches in a jump shot or an improper running gait. They don’t make you bad, they just don’t get you what you want. 

Use whatever will motivate you to move away from where you are and whatever will pull you forward.  

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Keep everything in front of you and rely on your team. Have your team go through all through phases to make sure that they’re moving forward powerfully as well. 

Life Athletics is working on developing the website to be a powerful “System of Existence” tool that will assist you in programming your life. 

Another project in the pipeline is the Life Athletics podcast. We will be talking to people who excel in some area of life or are experts in at least one area to find out how they do what they do and how you can too. It will be about getting the most out of being a human being. 

Let us know who you’d like to hear from in the podcast and what kind of tools would serve you in the web site. Help us help you

Thanks and we’ll see you on the field!  Enjoy your life, enjoy the game! 

Phase 3 Day 6: Tools

The whole point of this series is to have you on track and totally empowered to get the most out of being a human being. 

You have goals, you have a team and many other pieces that you’ll need in order to pull this off. 

Beyond this, you’re going to need tools. 

A tool is defined as a device or implement used to carry out a particular function. Let’s expand this definition to include behaviours, strategies and whatever else you need to use in order to get the job done. 

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In order to build and maintain my mental and emotional fitness I sleep a certain number of hours a day and have an elaborate morning ritual designed to fit my needs. 

This is a tool that I use to train this aspect of myself.  Another tool I use is the concept that physiology triggers psychology. When you smile, it tells your body that you’re happy. When you walk around like a superhero, you start to feel like a super hero. It’s hard to feel down when you hold your body a certain way. Conversely if you want to feel down, slump your shoulders, frown and stare at your feet for a while. Ok, stop doing that, you’re a Life Athlete!

Your system of existence might is a tool and should be treated with care.  

In fact, all of your tools should be given the respect that you’d expect a surgeon to give to theirs. 

Being aware of what you use to get the results you desire is important as it will make things duplicatable. If there’s any mystery to how you get the results you want, what you did that worked... you’ll be playing a game of hit or miss. 

Many of us like to over complicate things by trying to find new ways to do the same things we’ve done successfully before. While most things can be improved in some way,  there’s something to be said for sticking with what works. The classics get to be called that for a reason. 

So, take a look at your tool kit, mark down what you use for what task and take note of any areas where you are missing tools... chances are, this is a weak spot for you. 

Also, it is a poor carpenter that blames his tools BUT it’s an even worse one who doesn’t see that the tools are there for the taking. Find the tools that work best for you and lost the rest. 

Challenge: 

-Look at the 7 training areas and identify key tools that you use in each. 

-Note any areas where you don’t have an effective tool and find one. 

Phase 3 Day 5: Team

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Not only is life a sport, it’s a team sport. You have to focus on your own personal performance for sure, but you also have to recognize that you’re not in it alone. 

Lots of people seem desperate to prove that they’re on their own and that they don’t need anyone but that’s not how we’re built. We process the world through language, the very tool that we use to connect to others. 

We are creatures that can’t survive for the first number of years without direct nurturing and support. We need others and it’s easier to admit it than to fight it. 

Once we admit that we need people and then looked at how shaped we are by them, it follows that we should be picky about who we surround ourselves with. 

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Negative, emotionally upset / upsetting, and destructive people are obvious candidates for demotions. 

While this might sound cruel, it is necessary that you and your team are strong. There’s not a lot you can do from a place of weakness. Also, I’m not saying to eject people from your life, just to limit your exposure as much as possible to preserve your health and happiness. 

Many, many, many of us think that we’re doing people good by sticking around and trying to “fix” them but really, it just tends to make things worse. It is entirely possible that the people who seem negative, emotionally upset / upsetting and destructive are fantastic in another setting. If they’re hurting you, chances are they’re in the wrong place. Setting yourself free also sets them free. 

Eben Pagan makes a fantastic suggestion for the people who you can not let go of, but who might not be the healthiest to have around... interact with them where and when they’re at their best.

As far as your team goes... What kind of team would you like to have? Think about it, if this metaphor carries through and Life is a team Athletics event then who do you want on your side? Who are the top 5 people that will make up your inner circle? 

Remember that you get to choose these people... if you love your parents but they’re not the right people to have on your team... don’t have them on your team. Love them, hang out and make sure that you enjoy the relationships you have with them to the max! ... and then surround yourself with people who make you strong and the best version of you. 

One other concept I love that fits is the idea that when two people get together to solve a problem, it’s not two brains that are working together, it’s three. The theory states that a “third brain” is formed in the space... that combining people amplifies as opposed to simply adding. 

Your team is your inner circle, your mastermind group and ... when it comes down to it... they are you. 

Challenge:

• Identify the characteristics that you want in your team. 
• Make sure that you fit. 
• Identify 5 people to officially add to the roster. 
• let them know.
• make sure that your schedule is set so that you are spending most of your time and attention interacting with these people. 

Phase 3 Day 4: Systems.

As you build a larger and more complex life you will get to a point where it no longer remains practical to keep everything in your head. Taking on new way’s of being, behaviors, habits... this stuff will take some time to integrate and can fade easily unless it’s put in a practical form, outside of your own brain. This is the stuff that people resist because it seems tedious and un-fun. It’s up to you to see it otherwise. 

Turn it into a game, see it as the key to the kingdom, do whatever you need to do, but unless you have something to keep things real and in existence... it won’t be real and it won’t exist. 

A system of existence will keep you accountable, remind you of the things you have going on and will keep things front of mind. 

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Unless you have an assistant who will do these things for you, you must do it yourself. There are tools that can be used... which will you chose? 

Challenge:

-Choose a system that will allow you to keep all of your energy moving forward. 

Phase 3 Day 3 : Habits of Action.

Today’s post is about “external” habits but that might be a misnomer. They’re still your habits and so they’re in you and therefore internal. The differentiation is made more clear however when you call these by another name “habits of action”. 

Clearly stated, action habits are what you do while the internal habits are what you think and feel habitually. 

Just like with the internal habits it’s important that you not look at these habitual actions as “you”. 

Yes one way to view yourself is by what you think and do on a regular basis BUT you are also free to choose those thoughts and actions... even if it doesn’t always feel like it. 

When looking at our habits of action, it’s important to note that too many people try to leave changes they attempt to implement to will power. Trying to psyche yourself up to take on a new set of actions is not a sustainable behaviour. We must set the table to win. Stack the cards in our favour and ... some other cliche involving making things easier on ourselves. 

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In order to look at what behaviours need modifying we need to look at a number of things. We must look at how much time we spend working towards our goals a day, how effective that time is and how much recovery we’re allowing. 

To simplify this, how much time are we spending driving, idling and refueling. 

In order to achieve what we want, our actions must support more driving and more refueling while eliminating as much idling as possible. If you complain that there aren’t enough hours in the day then you need to look at your habits of action and see how much you idle. 

I’ve found that I can only work for a certain amount of time before I need to take a break. I used to just push through and pat myself on the back for being so bullheaded in my pursuit of my goals while the reality is that I was being stupid. I became exhausted and was less and less able to function effectively. It’s not that anyone else really noticed but I did. I knew I wasn’t at my best, that my thinking was not at a level I was used to and my work was just “ok”. 

Changing a few small habits made a HUGE difference with me. One, I didn’t let myself work into the bleary eyed stage. I trained myself to become aware of the point where I stopped being effective and I would step away. Even as little as 5-10 minutes spent clearing my head allowed me to quickly finish tasks that I had usually allowed to drag on as I became more and more exhausted. 

Another habit I took on is so simple it is almost embarrassing to admit how long it took me to adopt.  This is similar to the last one but goes a little further... rest when tired. Managing my energy has become a huge theme of my life and it comes down to seeing a few friends come to visit and sleep a lot of the time. I have a home that is larger and more accommodating than many of my peers in the area. It’s not BIG by any means, but these things are relative. I also live by the beach and so I routinely have groups of friends stay here when they come through town. I remember seeing two of my most energetic friends sleep any time they weren’t needed and it got me thinking that perhaps they were energetic because they were more rested than everyone else. They weren’t being anti social or rude in any way... it was just in those dead moments where people were transitioning between one activity and another, they would rest. They wouldn’t play on their phones or watch TV... they would rest. 

This habit alone can change your life. 

You can choose as many are you like. 

Challenge:

• What habits do you need to replace in order to move forward? 
• What habits will you put in place? 

Phase 3 Day 2: Internal Habits.

Nearly everything we do is habitual. We’re used to thinking a certain way and acting a certain way. This serves us most of the time and yet it can be an obstacle when attempting to do something new.

We’re wired for the lives we have. We know this to be true because they’re the lives we are living. This does not mean that they’re the lives we were meant to have or anything that fatalistic, only that we keep doing the things that keep our realities in place. 

One example that most of us have heard of is how many lottery winners wind up exactly where they started within a year or two of winning. This is because there is a certain comfort in what we know and we keep returning there no matter what happens. 

In order to change our fortunes we must first change ourselves, and that really means changing our habits. 

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Here we’re focussing on internal habits, external ones will come later. 

What that means is your thoughts and your emotions. 

People become attached to their thoughts and believe that they’re fused to who they are as a person. For this exercise it’s helpful to see your thoughts as something external to you... something that you can have... or something that can have you. The same thing goes for your emotions. 

Out of the womb we start linking beliefs (a.k.a. thoughts) and emotions to everything we encounter. Some things become forever scary because our two year old self reacted to something a certain way and we never completed the thought loop. 

I’m showing my age with this next metaphor and I hope that everyone can follow me but thoughts can be imagined as a record that skips and restarts forever. In fact, it is believed that all thoughts will continue indefinitely until they are interrupted and rethought. 

This is what we’re up to now. Taking on the habits of thought and emotion that will get you where you want to go by interrupting old thought patterns and replacing them with new ones. 

If you want to be more fit, you have to think of yourself as fit. An athlete who breaks her leg will get mack in shape as soon as she’s cleared to walk again. Her self view is of someone in shape and anything but that seems weird. 

When someone who is out of shape, a person who has always been out of shape, tries to become fit, a barrier they hit is that they see themselves as someone who is out shape.  All actions become seen through the lens of “I’m doing something out of character”. Sometimes this is used to self-congratulate, “Look at me doing this thing that is so out of character! I’m really making progress” and that is seen as positive at the time. While not exactly negative, it does reinforce the belief that these behaviours are foreign to your experience and ultimately the scale will tip back to what’s familiar. 

Making the shift to a different self view can seem false and delusional at first and this needs to be overcome. It is no more delusional to create a vision of yourself that inspires you and then set to consciously make it your “normal”, than it is to continue with a set of mental and emotional habits we picked up when we were still pre-verbal. 

The concept of Self is too broad to go into now... the idea of an Observer that is able to see our thoughts and emotions... 

For our purposes we have to be willing to let go of the past and embrace the future. New habits of thoughts and emotions will be key to this. Come back tomorrow when we’ll be looking at external habits.



Challenge: 

-Identify as many old internal habits that are in need of an upgrade as possible. 

-Come up with an upgraded version you’re going to replace it with. 

(remember that you will have to push through the pain of implementing these for about three weeks before they’ll even start to take as new habits.) 

Phase 3 Day 1: Measuring your goals.

In Phase 3 we’ll be looking at the steps, tools and techniques that you can use to make your Goals leap out of your head and into your life. 

In order to make your goals happen we’ll have to go from theory to practice. Your days will have to be spent on things that when stacked in weeks, months and years will amount to the life you want. 


We’ve talked about giving certain things up and we’ve talked about commitment. This will be even more evident as you start planning your days to incorporate aspects of what you say you want your life to be made up of. 

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That essentially is what your goals are, right? The collection of days you want to live and call your life. We want to be, do and have a certain collection of experiences. In order to do that we have to start filling our days with certain ways of being and actions. 

If your goals involve stuff, you still need to start with how and who you’re being. 

The first thing to put in place is a system of measurement. Many people put in a lot of effort and time into actions that amount to very little because they’re not actually  tracking or measuring their actions. 

Some things are more clearly measured than others but all things that matter to us need to be tracked. This doesn’t have to remain a formal process, you’ll get a feel of the things you are tracking after a few weeks to the point that you’ll be able to start to go by feel. Until then however, you’ll have to track everything. 

To measure your goals you have to break it down to a measurable unit. 

For fitness, this is easy. How far did you run and how long did it take you? How much did you lift how far, how many times... etc. 

For other things you have to be more creative. 

You can create a scale from 1-10 for just about anything. Yes, this is subjective but it allows you to grade yourself on the fly. 

How much love is present today in your romantic relationship 1-10? How energetic are you feeling 1-10? How happy are you 1-10? 

You get the picture. 

You can also measure how often you do something, or how many things you do in an area... frequency or volume. 

What you track and how you track things is up to you. 

A small notebook or an app on your phone... really what matters is that you’ll use it. 

Tracking makes you measure and that makes things real. All of a sudden, you’re seeing the pieces of your goals swirl around you and fall into place. 

Have fun with it, turn it into a game and enjoy! 

Challenge: 

-Determine how you’re going to measure each of your goals. 

-Choose a tracking method. 

Phase 2 Day 8: What Would The Best Version Of You Do

Goals can be grand, goals can be inspiring, goals can change the world. 

Goals get a lot of press and rightly so, they’re important. The simple act of writing your goals out on a piece of paper has been shown to have a major impact to the lives of the people who take that step. 

People who don’t have goals are at a disadvantage, as they don’t have the galvanizing focus that goals can provide. 

As stated, simply writing out your goals is a powerful step. It’s not the only step to take though. 

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Because we’re writing goals in every area of life there’s something we can do to allow them unimpeded forward movement. We can make sure that the goals have a unifying element and that our action moment to moment flow from this place. 

Looking at your goals (which if you’ve been following along you have written already), ask yourself “do these fit together?” 

I was going to write a number of elements that I thought were so fantastical that no person could ever achieve all of them in one lifetime but then I decided that I didn’t want to let my mental limits limit you. 

If you dream of the fantastical, party on. 

Make sure however that the goals fit together in a way that YOU can comprehend. 

Once you do, determine what this embodiment of your highest self looks, acts and feels like. This is you at your Life Athletic best and you want to be able to access it from now until forever. 

Whenever you are faced with a question, any question, as yourself “if I were being my Life Athletic best, what would I do?” 

This is especially powerful with it comes to two seemingly positive options. When faced with two or more good options, it will come down to knowing that if you stay true to who you are at your best, you’ll figure it out. 

Even through this is clearly a construct of your own mind, it’s amazing how easy it is to access once created and how effective and satisfying it is. 

Goals come down to what you do moment to moment. 

Making sure that your actions match your projected best self allows you to start making the incremental changes that will lead you towards the giant ones. 

Having a simple set of trigger words is what you’ll need. This cannot be complicated as we’re accessing a pretty easily spooked part of your mind. 

You know those WWBD (What Would BATMAN Do?) T-shirts? You need your question to be this simple. 

Use “what would Life Athlete me do?” if that works for you (I think that’s a powerful one personally ;)  ) or whatever works for you. 

Just make sure that whatever you use has the layers of meaning and understanding that conjuring Batman has for me and scores of other awesome (okay geeky) guys and gals around the world. 

You know what this best version of you is like, get it to make your decisions as much as possible from here on out. 

WWTBVOYD? 

(What Would The Best Version Of You Do?) 

Challenge: 

-Ask yourself if your goals fit together into a unified whole life that inspires you. 

-Make any changes necessary. 

-Establish a word or set of words that immediately conjures the best version of yourself. 

-Commit to letting this best version of you guide your behaviour from here on out. 


(note: If the idea of your best self running the show sounds constricting or boring, remember that you created this! This isn’t some sunday school version of “best behaviour” we’re talking about. This is you at your most awesome! Add some fun for Batman’s sake!)  

Phase 2 Day 7

With target goals acquired you now have a clear understanding of where to focus your attention and your efforts. 




To make it... more clear... your task is to fulfill and accomplish your target goals. 

In order to do this we need to break down your daily actions into achievable bits.

I like to call these clicks.

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 I'm Canadian and we measure distance by kilometers, a nickname for a kilometer is a click, or “Klick”... it actually might be a military thing... or it might just be something that my dad said that has nothing to do with Canada or the military, it doesn’t really matter... and how many clicks you are traveling either speed or your distance.

What it represents here is a measurable unit. You want to be able to measure your performance measure your achievements.  

For me it also represents something clicking into place. The image of a piece of a puzzle going where it belongs,  is one I like a lot. 

Essentially these are right actions taken at the right times. 

How do you know what's the right action is?  

Ask if it will take you towards your Target goals and if it fits with your identity as a Life Athlete.  

If you follow this metaphor then really it should just “click”. 


Challenge: 

-Fill in the clicks from where you are to your first Target Goal in your calendar for at least three weeks.  

Phase 2 Day 6: Target goals!

So far in Phase 2 we’ve been talking about goals, big goals, dream goals, your horizon goals. They’re exciting, they’re inspiring and they might feel very far away. Your job is to soak in the inspiration and then aim a little closer to home. 

Enter your target goals. 

Your target goals are that big step up from where you are that you KNOW you could get to if you put in a month or two of solid effort. You may have been there before or just have faith that you could make that leap with enough focus and sweat capital. This could be a few more lbs on your max deadlift, a few more bucks in your account or really anything that represents a big step up from your “now”. 

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These goals need to be so close that you can taste them, but far enough away that you actually have to try in order to reach them. They’re worthy of celebrating even if they don’t represent “it”. 

(editors note: there is no real “it” this is a constant process of personal growth and evolution that keeps going for as long as you do.) 

This might be the first hundred dollars made in your business, or certain benchmark weight that you can lift, weight that you’ve lost or anything else that you see as a challenging but achievable level.  If you’re in debt, and have a goal of making a million dollars a year, getting out of debt might be a powerful target goal OR significantly less out of debt to start. 

These are the things that are on the path to your ideals and represent real achievement but also are the things that are accessible enough to not discourage you. 

As you started marking down steps from where you are now to your horizon goals yesterday, this should be relatively simple. Your job now is to choose one of the closer steps to you and get yourself there. 

Challenge: 

-Identify a Target Goal for each area. 

Phase 2 Day 5: Live your future now!

Today’s entry is picking up from Phase 2 Day 4. If you haven’t looked at that one yet, skip over there and come back a.s.a.p.! 

As you started looking down the line at each of the steps from where you are now, to where you want to be, were you able to feel what it would be like to actually be there? 

Could you feel the excitement of accomplishing your goals? Could you feel what it would be like to be and have those things come into existence in your life? 

If your goal was to have $1 million could you picture yourself having $1 million? Did it feel good? Were you happy? Did you feel powerful? Did you feel free? Did you feel how you wanted to feel? 

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Did you feel in any way different than you do on a regular day now? Why did you feel different? 

You have not yet achieved these goals. If you felt that way now, it is because you're capable of feeling that way now. 

Think about that. You don’t need to have your goals accomplished yet to feel the joy, power, freedom, or whatever, that you know you’ll feel when the goals are achieved. 

Yes there’s of course an element of amplification that you’ll feel when you get there for real BUT you can still channel those feelings now. 

Think of it like a form of time travel. Many people wish that they could go back in time and give advice, or lend support to their younger selves. You can do that now by projecting forward, looking at how you’d be further along on your path. 

Also, and this is the point of all of this, the ways of being that you believe these goals will unlock are the ways of being you must take on in order to accomplish the goals. The journey will bring it out of you and you can help it along by adopting these ways of being now. 

It is in you, bring it out, and be it now! 

Challenge: 
-Look at the ways of being you feel would open up with the accomplishment of each of your horizon goals

-Write them down.

-Think about ways to incorporate those ways of being in your life now.

Phase 2 Day 4

You know where you are, you know where you want to go, and you're excited to get there. You have everything that you need to get started getting the life that you want!

In a lot of ways creating a life of our dreams is a lot like going on a road trip. I’ve used this metaphor before and I’ll use it again! 

Many people are scared to take a trip, even a vacation can be a big comfort challenge for some. 

To leave the familiar in search of adventure, excitement, or discovery can be difficult, but it is worth it. 

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We are Life Athletes! We are training ourselves to live at a high-level and we are LIVING at a high level. Living this way means taking risks. 

It means venturing into the unknown, confident that we can make it work. Confident that this way of being we have nurtured will pull us through. 

We are aiming at a higher standard and that can be scary. 

If your dreams don't scare you little bit, chances are you're not dreaming big enough. 

Really I don’t need you to be scared, just ready to have the life you want.  A lot of this preamble is to set you up for probability that you won’t be able to fully complete today's exercise immediately.

The fear I’m talking about comes from the unknown, the unfamiliar, the hidden. The thing about things that are unknown, unfamiliar, and hidden is that we don’t know a lot about them. 

If you already knew how to get where you wanted to go, you’d be there. Because you’re searching, there will be blind spots. This is normal and quite alright. 

So, fully acknowledging that there will be blind spots, I’m asking you to connect the points between where you are and where you want to be. Simple...  

Once again, I am well aware that you likely don’t know all of the steps to take now and that If you did, you would be taking them now. 

I’m telling you that it doesn’t matter. You can figure out A step and that’s enough to move forward. Too many of us wait, trying to figure every facet of our goals out before we start taking action. 

A friend passed along this nugget as we talked about this a while back, “you don’t wait for all of the lights in the world to turn green before you start driving” he said. No, no we don’t.  

Another one I like is a metaphor involving a dark country road on an overcast night... you can only see as far as your headlights shine but you trust that there’s more road in front of you. You drive and figure it out on your way. 

It’s going to be the same here. You’ll have to fill in as much as you can and as you get closer, you’ll be able to see more and so on.

As you connect the dots between where you are and where you want to be, you are to look at the “map” from two directions. 

For some it will be easier to immediately start plotting out next steps from where you are currently forward. While for others it will be easier to start marking out steps or stages backwards from your horizon goals towards the present. 

I suggest that you try drawing it out from both directions.

Also, you might not get the immediate steps from either point and instead be able to see some of the middle steps. 

Treat this like a jigsaw puzzle... start wherever you can and fit pieces in as you spot them. 

Start writing every step you can think of and leave spaces to be filled in later.  Big steps, small steps, write them all down.  

There might be branches, or detours to the road you are laying out. That's okay as well, write it all down. 

Try your best to be as detailed as possible, however don't get bogged down .Feel free to start with a general outline and flesh it out from there.

Write it down in such a way that you can fill in details later. Just keep going and don't stop.  Be thorough, be patient, and be unstoppable. This is is work, but it’s your life and if you won’t put in the time planning this, what will you spend time on? 

Let’s hit the road! 

Daily Challenge: 

-Take your current point and your horizon goals and fill in the in between stages. 

Phase 2 Day 3: Turn your excitement up to 11.

How you feel has a huge impact on what you do. 

If you are feeling run down, tired, or just plain unmotivated it can be hard to get out of bed let alone conquer the world. 

Emotions can help or hinder and really they’re up to us to guide. 

Emotions can be a powerful tool in achieving our goals and we’re going to look at that today. Turn yours up and get excited about the future you're creating!

Many of us have so much fear at the idea of never reaching our goals, that we put ourselves off of the hunt for them. Many people give in to the fear and satisfy themselves with the hope that their goals COULD happen rather than risk taking a shot and failing. 

As the Great One once said: “You miss a hundred percent of the shots you never take.” 

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We’ve already talked about blocks and so now we’re going to look at how emotions can help. 

What we want to do is use our emotions for good. 

We want to be able to visualize our goals as something exciting, something desirable, something that energizes us. 

When we supercharge our emotions so that the image of the achievement of our goals fills us with joy, we are stacking the deck in our favor. 

Tony Robbins says that people are motivated by two things:

1. The avoidance of pain.
2. The pursuit of pleasure. 

While he does say that people are more motivated by the avoidance of pain, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make both serve you.  If you’re tired of being where you are FEEL THAT! 

Expanding that feeling and allowing that discomfort can be powerful. The pitfall is that feeling bad without purpose ... has no purpose. If you use your motivations to move you away from something, move away from it. 

The second part is where you picture your goals as a huge success.  Allowing yourself to fully feel how great it would be to get yourself to where you want to be pulls you forward. 

When we are only mildly excited about something it's easy to be put off the trail. However, when we allow ourselves to be consumed with excitement then we must do this thing. 

The fear is that if we care too much and we don't get there we will be hurt, it's a real fear. That might happen. 

Allowing yourself to care at the risk of getting hurt might seem foolish, and you could find a lot of people to agree with that opinion. 

In response I leave you with this thought. 

In an interview I did with Dave Smart, he said this: “If you can’t learn to be a competitor in your passion... it’s going to be tough for you...” 

If you can’t get excited about your dreams... it’s going to be tough for you. 

Daily Challenge:

-Re-write your horizon goals and muster, fake, generate, create, FEEL 10X more excitement about them than previously. In fact, turn it to 11. Post your experience. 

Phase 2 Day 2 - Is there something hiding behind the goals you've set?

If you take a look at Facebook or the internet in general there are more advice givers on how to get the perfect six pack than I can count. Apparently lots of people want to have showy abs. 

or do they? 

Is there something hiding behind their stated goals? 

Something that they really want? Something that the other goal is just a cover for?

I believe that a lot of people think they want one thing while actually wanting something else. A person might want rippling abdominals because they think that this will make them sexier in the eyes of other people. Do they want the abs or the feelings that they think will come with them? 

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The same thing goes for many goals that people commonly aspire to. They’re fixes, or said another way, they’re reactions to some perceived fault. 

People don’t feel sexy and so they want abs. They don’t feel powerful so they want more money. 

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this other than that it doesn’t work. 

When you have a goal for a purpose other than having that goal accomplished, it’s like you’re driving on a road thinking that you’re going one way but you’re going another. 

If you want to fix something, fix it. 

Setting a goal with the hope that the side benefit will be that it will “fix you” just doesn't work. 

Set goals for the things you actually want to be, or have, in your life.

There are plenty of people with rippling abs who have body issues and who don’t feel particularly attractive. Likewise there are all kinds of unhappy people who have achieved things other people aspire to because they believe they will make them happy. 

So, what’s the solution here? We know that goals are important to growth but here I am saying that some goals are fool’s gold... fool’s goals.  

Having goals that are authentic to who you REALLY are is key here. 

If you want to be sexy, or powerful, or whatever... be that now.  Be authentic. 

It is of course an over simplification to say “be that now”. These things can take time, but know that if your goal is to be (insert adjective) then THAT is your goal! 

Also, you can have more than one goal. You want to feel sexy AND have a washboard midsection? GO FOR IT! Just don't set a goal for one thing expecting it to give you anything other than what it is. 

Challenge of the day: 

-Ask: “have I set these goals to fix something in myself? or am I truly inspired by these goals?” 

-Ask: are these goals authentic? 

-If you find that you’re trying to fix something ask yourself this: If the things I want to fix in myself were already fixed, what would I want for myself and my life. Alter your current goals to reflect this. 

Phase 2: day 1 - Horizon goals.

Now that we’ve established a solid understanding of where we are, what’s working, what isn’t, our blocks, our strengths, our commitment and what we’re willing to let go of from the past, we’re ready to move forward. 

To create a life that we love we have to start with a vision. There are a number of metaphors we can use to explain why... I’ll use two: 

1. If you don’t know where you’re going, how can you expect to get there. 
2. If you don’t know what you’re shooting at, how can you expect to hit it? 

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As I’ve looked at this over the years an element of this has become clear that I didn’t see before, although it might be obvious to you. What happens if you reach your goals by accident? Generally I think that people are dissatisfied if this happens unless they quickly recognize that “this” is what they wanted. 

I believe that a key element of goal setting is the ability to look back and notice our accomplishments. We can say “I have arrived!” even for a moment and feel great about that before moving on to the next goal. 

When I run I like to have some place that represents the destination and I’ll touch that before looping home. When I indoor climb I like to touch the metal beam the rope is looped on before climbing down. Having a clear “check!” point helps me and I believe that it can help you. We’ll go over that more later though. 

Onto the vision! 

I used to call this phase of goal setting “dream goals” but I changed it as felt there was a connotation I didn’t like.  Many people feel that dreams are not real. 

I’m now calling these “Horizon Goals” as they’re as far as you can see currently on your journey. 

Either way, I think they names explain what these goals are. Imagine your ideal reality and figure out what that would look like in the context of each area of your life. Regardless of where you currently are write our your vision. These are the ideals, not the immediately achievables. 

Make these inspiring to you! 

Notice whatever feelings come up as you write. Discomfort is normal here and while you don’t have to write anything grand to impress anyone, don’t avoid something you want to write down out of fear. 

Imagine that you are standing on a cliffside looking out onto the world preparing for the adventure that’s beyond the curve of the earth and dare to dream big! 

Challenge: 


-Get yourself excited about the future,
-Write your horizon goals for each area. (Write your goals in the present tense, as if they've already happened.)

Phase one is done! Enjoy your day off!

Phase 1 is done and now you're getting a well deserved rest day. If you've fallen behind at all, this is a GREAT time to get caught up! Phase 2 will start tomorrow and we'll start to build our visions for the future! See you then! 

Phase 1 Day 9: What are you willing to let go of moving forward?

Day 9! This is the last step of phase 1! Congratulations!

Moving forward there is one more question to ask yourself, what are you willing to let go of. 

We’re about to look at what you want in life. Presumably there are some shifts you want to make. 

You will not have more hours in the day. You will not magically have more energy.

You will be you, trying something new. 

In order to do something new, you will have to let something go to clear space.

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This could be emotional, physical, something in your schedule, a connection to a person that's no longer healthy, or one that has been hurting you for a while.

Most likely it’ll be a combination of things AND they’ll be more visible as you’re actually moving forward. Still you need to be aware of this concept now. 

There’s an attachment that forms to the things in our lives that we’re familiar with, we see them as part of us. 

This includes things that we’ve outgrown. 

If you’re like most people, you have a hard time throwing out things with even the slightest bit of sentimental value. The problem is that, as old things accumulate there’s less and less room for the new. 

Letting go of those attachments can be hard yet powerful. As you clear the out the things that have outlived their usefulness, you’re allowing new things to enter your life that are more appropriate to where you are or where you’re going. 

This also holds true beyond knick knacks and extends to habits, emotions, people, behavioral patterns, belief systems etc. 

You can want to be wealthy until you’re green in the face but if you’re unwilling to let go of your view of yourself as someone who is bad with money... good luck. 

The same goes with fitness, relationships... really any part of your life. If somewhere you’ve determined your own limit in these areas, you’re stuck there until you let go of that self image. 


It can also be a behavioral pattern. You want to be more energetic but you don’t want to shut your computer off an hour earlier and get to bed. 

You want to be more present to your partner but you’re not willing to shut your computer off an hour earlier and get to bed. ;) 

Whatever it is that you want moving forward, you’ll have to let go of something now. There’s a cost to the steps you’re about to take. It might just be the fear that you can’t do it. Let go of that one as fast as you can. 

Challenge of the day:

-Make a list of the things that you’re willing to let go of. 

-Take a minute imagining these things being released and leaving your space, making way for the awesome vision that you’re about to create for yourself in Phase 2! 

Phase 1 Day 8: How committed are you to having the life of your dreams?

Once we look at where we are, and we realize that we want more, for whatever reason, the question really becomes: how committed are you to making it happen?

Is this a passion, or a passing interest?

We haven’t begun looking at what it is that you want to create in your life BUT that almost doesn’t matter. You know that’s where we’re headed, are you committed to yourself as you move forward?  The choice is up to you.  

Regardless of what it is that you want, the key to getting it, is your level of commitment.

Things that are, kind of, sort of, maybe, a good idea, don’t get done.

Knowing that you HAVE to make a shift is necessary to making a shift. Wanting to isn’t enough. Will you run through a wall to make it happen? Are you willing to pay what it costs?

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It’s important to note that no one said that you had to choose to change something in your life. If you're thinking of changing something because someone else thinks it's a good idea... well that’s not a good idea. It needs to come from you. 

You can likely keep doing things as you’re doing them.  If lives were in immediate danger I’d hope you’d be doing something more than reading this installment of a 30 day challenge. You’re fine. 

Most of us aspire to more than “fine” though. We want to be more fit, more wealthy, we want to be smarter, healthier and happier. We want to make a bigger difference in the lives of those around us and we want to be closer to people. We want a better world... and we want six-pack abs.

We might not be in mortal danger but we might be dying a slow death, letting one dream die after another. Or we might just be in danger of being mediocre. 

The point is that these have all been your standards we’ve been talking about and now is the gut check time. Will you make a difference in your life? 

Are you serious and ready to pay the price for a new life, or are you just window shopping?

Challenge of the day: 

-Look at your life and ask yourself “am I committed to moving forward and meeting my potential?”

-Make sure the answer is yes. 

-Turn the volume of your commitment to 11.